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Your dog said what?

April 6, 2011

That's my girl - outstanding in her field
The weedy field in question. With the dog in question.

Goldie was digging in her favorite place, a huge, weedy field down by the harbor. It has never been developed and isn’t fenced, so it has turned into a de facto dog park, frisbee field and place to hang out and drink a beer or six by the water (gauging from the number of beer bottles in the weeds).

A lady with a beagle on a leash walked up.

“Oh, he found something, did he?” (people always assume Goldie is a boy because she is big. Sexism ahoy.)

“No, she just likes to dig. She rarely finds anything,” I replied.

“Molly says,” said the lady, nodding toward the beagle, “‘My mommy doesn’t let me dig on other people’s property.'”

Oh yes she did. She quoted her dog to make a passive-aggressive dig at me for letting my dog behave like a hooligan. I stood there, dumbfounded.

My question is this: What should I have said that Goldie said in response to her dog, Molly?

29 Comments
  1. April 6, 2011 16:42

    Seriously? People! Grr!

    I think I would have just laughed in her face and walked in the other direction.

    • April 6, 2011 16:44

      Instead of just mouthing “F*** YOU!” behind her back?

      • April 6, 2011 16:52

        I wouldn’t have mouthed “f*** you!”, but I really can’t speak for my dog. ;)

  2. April 6, 2011 16:42

    What a stinking hypocrite. Molly’s quite happy to take a dump on other people’s property though, isn’t she? Goldie says “F*** off, Molly”.

    • April 6, 2011 16:45

      I didn’t check her bowel status, but Molly did have that mischevious look on her face.

  3. Debbie permalink
    April 6, 2011 19:31

    Really, Molly? I suppose you do everything that b*tch says?

  4. April 6, 2011 19:42

    Suebob deadpans, “Wow, that’s impressive your dog can talk. Perhaps, you should take that show on the road.”

  5. April 6, 2011 19:44

    Goldie says, “Molly must not be allowed to have any fun! Sucks to be Molly!”

  6. April 7, 2011 04:52

    Goldie says Molly should grow a pair.

    • April 7, 2011 05:53

      Goldie could teach Molly a thing or two about that, since she doesn’t take orders from anyone.

  7. April 7, 2011 07:39

    Goldie says, “Molly, I’m sorry your person is a such a passive aggressive nitwit. Do you ever want to bite her?”

    • April 7, 2011 22:05

      I’m sure Molly would be happier with me.

  8. April 7, 2011 14:58

    Jack thinks Goldie’s wonderful, and who the heck cares what Molly thinks?

  9. neeroc permalink
    April 7, 2011 18:17

    ‘funny, Goldie says Molly’s a passive-aggressive bitch.’ or ‘wow, didn’t Son of Sam hear dogs talking to him? You should get that checked’

  10. April 8, 2011 07:50

    I’m just dropping in to let you know that this weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday: http://www.schmutzie.com/fivestarfriday/2011/4/8/five-star-fridays-144th-edition-is-brought-to-you-by-don-del.html

  11. jillian permalink
    April 12, 2011 21:06

    How about, “Yes, we would hate to ruin this lovely manicured lawn, that someone is clearly taking such good care of! hahaha”

  12. April 13, 2011 08:45

    I heartily agree with, “Molly sounds like a passive-aggressive little bitch.”

  13. April 13, 2011 22:03

    *blink* really? maybe mollie’s mommy needs a therapist.

    • April 14, 2011 09:18

      Because she is in Son of Sam territory there!

  14. April 14, 2011 22:02

    Goldie says: my owner knows better than to use her dog to insult strangers.

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