I haven't been posting, not because I don't have anything to say, but because I don't have anything GOOD to say. I've been mired in teeth-gnashing angst, the kind that sneaks up on me for no good reason every once in a while.
Boiled down, it says "You suck. Always have. Always will."
Please don't say kind things to try and make me feel better. I know that my brain is a liar, and that This Too Shall Pass. It just sucks while it is sucking.
I'm taking a relationship class at church. We had to say why we were there. I said "Because I'm really bad at relationships." No one else said that. Oops.
I finally, after literally years of putting it off, bought a new camera. No more phone photos for me (well, maybe a few). I got a Canon EOS Rebel T3, a basic model, but it is already so much more amazing than anything else I have ever laid hands on. I don't know what all the buttons are just yet. But I feel like a puzzle piece snapped into place AND like I can breathe again.
I also feel like I love mixed metaphors.
Also? I got to see Susan Orlean at the LA Times Book Festival. I asked during the Q&A how twitter had affected her writing. She said that she feels like any kind of writing is good and that it helps you think concisely. Also, she loves the support and accountability - when she goes on twitter and says she's going to write 1000 words, she feels like she had better do it.
That's all for now. Thank God for photos. As you were.