Sitting Down and Shutting Up

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am studying to become a meditation teacher.

I’m joking about the beyond my control part. I signed up for this.

In the course of two months, I will be very well-qualified to tell you how to sit down and shut up. You’re welcome.

The winding path to this decision started with a visit to Casey Coombs in Indiana a few years back. I met Casey when she was a new blogger with a tiny child at BlogHer Chicago in 2009 (or maybe 2007 – those years always blend together). She struck me because she was vibrating with this life energy and was so radiantly beautiful. Now she has two almost grown children and she has plowed a path through healing and personal growth propelled by that same energy.

She mentioned Recovery Dharma, a program for recovery from addiction of all kinds that is based in Buddhist principles. “That’s nice…for her,” I thought.

Later that year I thought maybe I could use some help with my persistent food issues, so I started attending online Recovery Dharma groups. The meetings were full of kind, helpful, supportive people. At each one, we read Buddhist principles, one of which is that we refrain from intoxicating substances.

I thought “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it all the way,” so I quit drinking again. Goodbye to my nightly glass of wine or three. Goodbye to interrupted sleep and spending hours in a dulled-down life. I’m a rooibos tea girl now.

I also started meditating daily, because that’s another one of the principles. 20-30 minutes of sitting, watching my mind ping-pong around like a puppy in a ball pit. Eventually the puppy began to settle down. Now it chooses a ball or two, rather than trying to corral all the balls at once. Progress.

When I’m not sitting trying to ignore my right hip, I have found that I am present in my life more. I’m spending less brain time in the future or ruminating on the past. I’m doing right what is in front of me, and what I am doing feels more vibrant and alive, no matter if it is doing dishes or brushing my teeth. Flossing, I’m still working on.

It’s a little difficult to swallow, the thought that I have missed out on much of my own life by mentally being somewhere else. But here we are, and I’m grateful that I can be more present for the rest of my life.

If you want to sit down and shut up, let me know.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay