Talking to Mom
Note: my mom is not religious. She doesn’t want to hear about religion and has made that abundantly clear to everyone. She asked me to pick her up some Easter cards, and I complied, picking out cards that said “Happy Easter” and had spring flowers, bunnies and chicks, but no mention of Jesus or resurrection.
Mom: I noticed those cards you got me didn’t have anything to do with Easter.
Suebob: I got you the non-religious ones on purpose.
Mom: Oh, that’s what I wanted. But they really don’t have anything to do with the holiday.
Suebob: They did have ones that said things about Jesus, but I thought you wouldn’t like them.
Mom: No, these are fine. They just don’t have anything to do with Easter.
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Suebob: I’m going to Target, do you need anything?
Mom: There was one thing, but I can’t remember.
Suebob: Was it a bathmat for the shower? I could get you one of those.
Mom: No, get that when you have more time. But when would that be? You’re always so busy.
Suebob: Well, I’ll be there, so if you want one, I will get it.
Mom: No, do it when you have time.
Suebob: It would actually be more convenient for me to get it since I am going today, rather than some time when I am not going there.
Mom: (hurt) Well, I wouldn’t ask you to make a special trip!
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Please do not try to figure these conversations out. It will just make your brain hurt. Trust me, I know. But then there’s this, which I understand perfectly:
Me: Did you hear about that politician in Michigan who wants to have foster children get their clothes from Goodwill instead of new?
Mom: Why would they do that to children who have so little already?
Me: I dunno.
Mom: I just don’t understand people.
Me: Me neither. I had a friend whose foster parents would buy lots of presents for their own children at Christmas, and he would get nothing.”
Mom: (her face collapses and tears fill her eyes). That…makes me cry. I mean, why not just have everyone get by with a little less?
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Suebob's Red Stapler 
I pink puffy heart your mom.
She is her own special self, that’s for sure.
good lord, my mom is the same way! (and my ring for her on the cell phone is a duck whacking.)
given our other similarities, i figure my days of rational thought are numbered. maybe it’s a vicious cycle and the one before drives the next into insanity?
The phrase “duck whacking” is now stuck in my head.
I’d leave a comment, but i don’t want to bother you…..
Perfectly played.
Are we sisters?
I think it is going around!
These conversations feel so familiar…
Re- the foster family x-mas–
why would you even have foster kids if you didn’t want them to feel loved?
I dunno, because it can’t me a money-making scheme – there is NO WAY the small amount you get in money pays for all the needs of that child.
You are both such wonderful people.
Well, thank you.
I didn’t know my Mom was out there mothering other families too. Nice to meet you long lost sister!
I will say that when I was little I specifically remember a Christmas where our family hosted a foster kid for Christmas. I remember being in awe of all the presents my mother bought the little girl (who was probably six or seven and I was about 3 or 4). My mother still gets upset about that little girl if you asked her. My mother had inquired about adoption, but she had numerous siblings and parental rights had not been fully ceased. I do hope that the girl (also a Christine or Christina) ended up in a good and happy situation.
What a good Mom.
Your mom sounds awesome. In a passive aggressive way perhaps, but her heart it true.
She is where I get my awesomeness from LOL
My mom AND grandmother are exactly like this. The passive-aggressive thing must be genetic because I’m adopted & a straight shooter.
I think it was the era. It wasn’t ladylike to be forthcoming.