Talking to Mom
Note: my mom is not religious. She doesn’t want to hear about religion and has made that abundantly clear to everyone. She asked me to pick her up some Easter cards, and I complied, picking out cards that said “Happy Easter” and had spring flowers, bunnies and chicks, but no mention of Jesus or resurrection.
Mom: I noticed those cards you got me didn’t have anything to do with Easter.
Suebob: I got you the non-religious ones on purpose.
Mom: Oh, that’s what I wanted. But they really don’t have anything to do with the holiday.
Suebob: They did have ones that said things about Jesus, but I thought you wouldn’t like them.
Mom: No, these are fine. They just don’t have anything to do with Easter.
Suebob: I’m going to Target, do you need anything?
Mom: There was one thing, but I can’t remember.
Suebob: Was it a bathmat for the shower? I could get you one of those.
Mom: No, get that when you have more time. But when would that be? You’re always so busy.
Suebob: Well, I’ll be there, so if you want one, I will get it.
Mom: No, do it when you have time.
Suebob: It would actually be more convenient for me to get it since I am going today, rather than some time when I am not going there.
Mom: (hurt) Well, I wouldn’t ask you to make a special trip!
Please do not try to figure these conversations out. It will just make your brain hurt. Trust me, I know. But then there’s this, which I understand perfectly:
Me: Did you hear about that politician in Michigan who wants to have foster children get their clothes from Goodwill instead of new?
Mom: Why would they do that to children who have so little already?
Me: I dunno.
Mom: I just don’t understand people.
Me: Me neither. I had a friend whose foster parents would buy lots of presents for their own children at Christmas, and he would get nothing.”
Mom: (her face collapses and tears fill her eyes). That…makes me cry. I mean, why not just have everyone get by with a little less?