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Conference Advice for the Hapless

July 24, 2011

You walk into a conference and the first that happens is you get branded as a conference-goer. You check in at registration and someone hands you a conference badge and a lanyard for the badge that is imprinted with some advertisement right on it.

You don’t get a choice, either. It’s the lanyard sponsor, so you’re suddenly stuck with a bright yellow necklace with Sunny D logos even if you’re diabetic or a blue one with white Ford logos though you’re a Chevy fan who would rather set yourself on fire than to root for Carl Edwards. It’s not like you get to pick from three choices, either – “Would you like Pepsi, Big Papi’s Sex Toys, or Lamisil”?

Nope. You’re stuck, because if you want to get into the show and get your turkey sandwich at lunch, you have to have your Official Conference badge. So plan ahead, people, and avoid looking like all the other yutzes with their matching lanyards.

I did:

p.s. I have never actually tasted Jagermeister and don’t plan on trying it, but people seem to love the crap, and you have to admit, I’ll probably be the only one there with this badge holder! Unless Jager is a Major Sponsor.

  1. July 24, 2011 20:40

    I want one!

    • July 24, 2011 21:01

      I may be able to arrange that.

      • July 24, 2011 21:03

        Can you help Sarah and me make Sierra Nevada ones? I don’t know why they’re not sponsoring us, honestly.

        • July 24, 2011 21:30

          Lord, I love me some Sierra Nevada. Pale ale, Christmas ale, whatever.

          • July 24, 2011 21:34

            I was not aware of that. I don’t even think I knew you liked beer. IT’S LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW YOU AT ALL. 😉 Sarah introduced me to it and now it is my beer of choice. The Celebration (Christmas) is awesome. I stalk it well into April around here. 🙂

            • July 24, 2011 21:49

              The only reason I don’t usually drink beer is that 1 beer can make me pee 3 times. It is just boring to have to run to the bathroom so often. But I love the way beer tastes, especially very hoppy beer. I think Anchor Liberty Ale is my favorite.

  2. July 24, 2011 20:59

    Now I wish I was going

  3. July 24, 2011 21:00

    Now you’re making me think I should look back through my old badge holders to find the perfect one. That one is great!

  4. July 24, 2011 21:54

    Jagermeister. That horrible herbal poison.

  5. July 25, 2011 03:41

    Hilarious! I’m splurging and finally buying the sheep-theme lanyard I’ve had my eye on forever.

  6. July 25, 2011 07:28

    🙂 that is the best advice. Mine would be to find you and the stapler, preferably this time before I have too man drinks at the Canadian party. 🙂

  7. July 25, 2011 07:39

    Since when do you eat turkey? I think your badge holder is making you reckless.

  8. July 25, 2011 12:32

    Now I just want to do Jager shots with you.

    And I hate Jager shots.

    But… for you. We’ll get White involved.

    • July 25, 2011 12:35

      I love you both but I will do those shots with no one, friends. No. One.

  9. suebob permalink*
    July 25, 2011 12:41

    Flurrious The turkey idea was more a comment on the ubiquity of turkey sandwiches…though BlogHer always has vegetarian/vegan options, I think because of ElisaC’s kind guidance. Yay for vegetables.

    Sarah n Laurie No jager, really. I would be up for one lovely Sierra Nevada though

  10. July 25, 2011 13:17

    I have my keys on a lanyard all the time (sometimes you have to walk the dog in an outfit with no pockets) but it’s a random Target one I was given when I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so I’m not entirely sure it’s going to be better than the conference one!

    • July 26, 2011 07:40

      LANYARD!!! Thank you. That’s the word I was looking for. I went back and edited. “Badge necklace.” I’m losing my mind.

  11. August 10, 2011 17:17

    I was so nervous at Open Mic that I missed your Jaegermeister lanyard? What is WRONG with me? Great to meet you and yes, was I ever grateful for your solid shoulder as we stood there waiting our turn. Your piece was wonderful and a treat to hear it read aloud. So glad we were in it together!

    • August 12, 2011 15:07

      I gave my 2 Jager lanyards to my miscreant friends up there in the comments, Sarah and Laurie, who wore them with great elan.

      I opted for a silver ball chain, which was noisy but worked really fine. Ironically, the BlogHer official ones were plain black this year.

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