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April 24, 2012


I haven’t been posting, not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I don’t have anything GOOD to say. I’ve been mired in teeth-gnashing angst, the kind that sneaks up on me for no good reason every once in a while.

Boiled down, it says “You suck. Always have. Always will.”

Please don’t say kind things to try and make me feel better. I know that my brain is a liar, and that This Too Shall Pass. It just sucks while it is sucking.


I’m taking a relationship class at church. We had to say why we were there. I said “Because I’m really bad at relationships.” No one else said that. Oops.

I finally, after literally years of putting it off, bought a new camera. No more phone photos for me (well, maybe a few). I got a Canon EOS Rebel T3, a basic model, but it is already so much more amazing than anything else I have ever laid hands on. I don’t know what all the buttons are just yet. But I feel like a puzzle piece snapped into place AND like I can breathe again.

I also feel like I love mixed metaphors.

Bonus! Many new dog photos.
Such a GOOD dog. Goldie

Also? I got to see Susan Orlean at the LA Times Book Festival. I asked during the Q&A how twitter had affected her writing. She said that she feels like any kind of writing is good and that it helps you think concisely. Also, she loves the support and accountability – when she goes on twitter and says she’s going to write 1000 words, she feels like she had better do it.

She looked me right in the eyes and was lovely and funny and had a great skirt on, too. My friend Jim was quite smitten. Here she is:
Susan Orlean, LA Times Festival of Books 2012

That’s all for now. Thank God for photos. As you were.

  1. April 24, 2012 22:31

    Congrats on the camera! Looking forward to more photos!

    Canon T3 is a good choice. Have fun with it!

  2. kizzbeth permalink
    April 25, 2012 08:52

    My favorite part of the new camera is all the dog photos. I want to kiss her goofy face!

  3. April 25, 2012 13:42

    I also feel as though I’ve been on the verge of a nervous breakdown lately. I find myself thinking, “You are a terrible person, you know that don’t you?” followed by, “who am I talking to? Oh god, it’s me. I’m the terrible person!” and an hour of blinking back tears. I’m not sure what any of this is about.

    Goldie! That picture really shows the dalmatian in her.

  4. April 26, 2012 12:42

    Depression gets me that way too sometimes – it does suck. Its not forever.

    I have the jealousy over your new camera.

  5. Elaine permalink
    April 30, 2012 13:33

    Goldie is looking so old and as dogs age, I think they look more and more noble. I have a senior hound mix girl. She has the same air about her as Goldie. I will never forget your story about how/why you got Goldie. Still brings me to tears.

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