My Plans for Abercrombie and Fitch
Did you see what Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries said? Check out this article.
“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,” he told Salon.
Please take note that this guy is no looker himself. He’s, in fact, kind of a Shrek-like figure. I wouldn’t say that about his looks if he were building wells in developing countries, but he’s selling an image here, so I figure he’s fair game.
Here’s my plan to help Abercrombie & Fitch. And by “help,” I mean “destroy their annoying, overpriced brand.”
- Hire some friends my age to wear their clothing. I know they don’t sell anything larger than size 10 pants, but if my friends have fit four tired children into a minivan after a day at Disneyland, they can fit their lumpen frames into size 10 pants. Top that with a tight t-shirt and you have middle aged magnificence.
- Hang out at strategic locations. Mall, high school ride pickup line, skate park.
That’s it. It won’t take long. Once the word spreads that frizzy-haired 50-somethings are wearing A&F, the brand will tank faster than Justin Bieber trying to sing opera.
Then Mr. Jeffries will have two choices: either make clothes for normal people, or get another business, maybe something in plastic surgery. He could be his own first customer.