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Up n At ‘Em

May 23, 2018

Conversation with my doc during my annual physical, as I got ready for my Pap smear. She is a treat.

Doc: And I see you got your colonoscopy?
Suebob: Yes, I stayed awake
Suebob: It was entertaining. I got to see my shiny colon. I expected it to look horrible and it was all pink and clean
Doc: Well, of course it was, considering the prep they do. I never wanted to see mine. I saw enough in medical school. It was like when I had my kids. I said “No, don’t show me. Just get them out and clean them up.”
Suebob: I was kind of afraid of the colonoscopy
Doc: Yeah, people generally are
Suebob: Well, I assumed that…you know the position for the Pap smear? I thought it was going to be like that, but with your buns up and everyone looking at you…
Doc, laughing: Oh, no, no, they put you on your side, right?
Suebob: Yes, and I was all covered up. It was very discreet
Doc: They don’t even have to look to insert the scope, they do it so often. But back in school, we did rectal exams like that for prostate cancer
Suebob: What?
Doc: Well, this was training, and they were volunteers. We would come in and there would be a whole room with men lined up on both sides with their butts up in the air…
Suebob: [Shrieking]
Doc: I know. At least they got paid for it.
Suebob: And at least it was before social media.

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