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In which Southern accents trip me up

November 2, 2019

Sue: Oh, your dog is so cute. What’s his name?

Lady: Vayennie

Sue: Vienna?

Lady: VAH-ennie

Sue: Vah-ennie

Lady: V-I-N-N-I-E

_______________________

Sue: Is the shed supposed to be locked?

Landlord: What?

Sue: The shed, is it supposed to be locked because…

Landlord: Oh! The SHAY-ed.

_______________________

I walk up to a deli counter. Two men stop talking to look at me. One Middle Easterner behind the counter and one Black man in front of it.

“We were talking about coaches,” the customer explained.

“Like football coaches?” I asked.

“Football, whatever, all kinds of coaches. But people try to take your coaches away, you know? You come with coaches and they don’t appreciate those coaches.”

“Um…yeah?”

He looked kind of annoyed.

“Yeah, they do. They do.”

In the car, about half an hour later, I yelled, “OH! CULTURES!”

5 Comments
  1. Kyle permalink
    November 2, 2019 08:51

    PRAYS JAIZUS

    • November 3, 2019 05:06

      The pronunciation of “Christian” is odd to me, too – ChrEE-stian.

  2. November 2, 2019 09:14

    Makes perfect sense to me.There are no single syllable words in the South.

  3. November 23, 2019 09:23

    You are the best writer in the whole world.

    On Sat, Nov 2, 2019, 7:39 PM Suebob’s Red Stapler wrote:

    > Suebob posted: “Sue: Oh, your dog is so cute. What’s his name? Lady: > Vayennie Sue: Vienna? Lady: VAH-ennie Sue: Vah-ennie Lady: V-I-N-N-I-E > _______________________ Sue: Is the shed supposed to be locked? Landlord: > What? Sue: The shed, is it supposed to be locked” >

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