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Santa doesn’t come here anymore

January 2, 2011

Santa watches over the Nativity

I didn’t even try to buy my mom anything for Christmas this year. It was a relief for both of us, since she is the world’s worst receiver of gifts. She hates everything anyone ever gets her.

Example 1: Verne sent a fruit and nut basket.
Mom: I should call Verne, but I don’t know what I’m going to say to her.
Suebob: Why?
Mom: That basket is just too big. I don’t need all that stuff. It’s like you’d get for someone who was having a party or something. It’s just awful how much stuff is in there. I don’t know how to tell her.
Suebob: You are going to say “Thank you for the lovely gift” to her. Period. End of story.
Mom: (purses lips, shakes head.)

Example 2: I gave Mom some nice big bath towels.
The other day when I was helping her shower, I noticed one hanging on the towel rack far away from the shower.
Suebob: Do you want to use this towel?
Mom: Oh, no, I never use those.
Suebob: Why not?
Mom: They are just too big and fluffy.

Do you see, people? WHO hates big fluffy towels?? Do you see why I have that mark on my forehead from banging it on my desk?

  1. January 2, 2011 20:50

    Oh, but it’s good to know that I’m not the only one out there with a mother like that. 😉

  2. January 2, 2011 21:38

    Ooh, I love a nice, fluffy towel.

    • January 3, 2011 06:18

      I should pack them up and send them to you. They are just hanging there…forever.

  3. January 3, 2011 07:54

    My mother was like that too. Both examples.

  4. January 3, 2011 08:18

    I also hate big fluffy towels. Not joking. Too big = too heavy, and too fluffy = fluffballs on my body.
    Seriously. Give me my old and tattered crappy towels. LOVE THEM.

    • January 3, 2011 10:18

      You’re getting the wrong kind of fluffy towels. The kind I bought are the ones where the fluff stays ON the towel. Must be a Canadian thing LOL.

  5. January 3, 2011 10:22

    So your mom must be going by the adage “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” since she doesn’t want to tell Verne she can’t use her basket.

  6. mdog permalink
    January 3, 2011 13:26

    HAHAHAHAHA. i bought my parents big, fluffy towels a couple of years ago [the kind which, as you mention, keep their fluffness]. the ones they were using were as old as me [and didn’t match ANYTHING. not even each other], and i myself had recently discovered that new fluffy towels are nothing short of life-changing.

    it took them 18 months to get around to the thought of even WASHING them because they were “too long for the towel bar above the toilets”.

    • January 3, 2011 13:33

      Sounds EXACTLY like something my mom would say.

    • January 4, 2011 10:22

      Well mdog, that’s better than the person we know who uses paper towels to dry herself off!😛

      • mdog permalink
        January 5, 2011 10:10

        that is still SO strange and disturbing. thanks, mar.

        • mdog permalink
          January 5, 2011 10:11

          [whoa. i wasn’t actually expecting that to turn into an eye-rolling icon. wordpress ftw.]

  7. January 3, 2011 13:46

    My MIL also hates big fluffy towels and won’t use them. The house is full of 20+-year old blue light special towels. I couldn’t take it anymore, so went out and bought some really nice big fluffy towels. I almost went to Restoration Hardware, and was glad I didn’t, as when they were here, she handed me back the big fluffy towels I left in their bathroom, saying they were basically too big and fluffy for her.

    • January 3, 2011 13:51

      I guess what I have learned is that there are 2 types of people: people who like big fluffy towels, and complete lunatics (hi Karen!)

  8. Juanita permalink
    January 3, 2011 14:12

    In theory, I LOVE the idea of giant fluffy towels, but I can’t stand the fluff getting stuck on me. So where does one find these miraculous towels, hmmm?

    • January 3, 2011 14:45

      I think you just have to launder them a couple times. Loopy ones are better than the velour-y kind. I have a velour towel I got at a Dodgers game and it makes about a cup of fluff every time I launder it. Crazy.

  9. nec permalink
    January 4, 2011 06:42

    I think mother’s are the same the world over… I love big (the bigger the better), fluffy towels, I have to wonder if that will change when I hit a “certain age”. Haha.

    • nec permalink
      January 4, 2011 06:43

      oops didn’t mean to put mothers as possessive🙂

  10. January 4, 2011 07:00

    I think she beats my mother, which I didn’t think was possible, as she once said that the calendar (featuring photos of her grandchildren) was made of too-heavy paper and didn’t stay on her refrigerator with the magnet she usually uses.

    Can a towel be too fluffy must be a koan of sorts. Good grief!

    • January 4, 2011 07:40

      …and of course buying a stronger magnet would be out of the realm of possibilities.

  11. January 4, 2011 07:07

    Maybe I’m not understanding “fluffy,” but I don’t like fluffy towels either. I prefer a towel that’s not quite so soft; otherwise, I don’t feel like it’s drying anything. Hotel towels are good because they make them sturdy enough to go through the industrial washing machines, but the towels that hotels sell are not the same thing at all. I think you have to buy the real thing through a hotel supplier, and I haven’t tried, but I imagine who’d have to buy about a thousand of them at once and I can only take so many baths.

    • January 4, 2011 07:39

      I am picturing a truck pulling up with this giant pallet of towels.

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