The 10 Stages of Packing
1. Careful Consideration
Ponder the duration of upcoming trip and all possible activities.
2. Cool Determination
Make a decision to stick to a few classic pieces that can mix and match to make many appropriate outfits
3. Cruel Realization
Notice that my wardrobe contains neither classic pieces nor clothing that is appropriate for many of the things I am about to do
4. Steely Resolve
Make decision to forge ahead and use my cleverness to create a travel wardrobe without buying anything new
5. Immediate Capitulation and Utter Delusion
Desperate run to the outlet mall to make ill-thought, high-speed selections, only a few of which will actually fit or ever be worn. Convince myself that I am the type of person who wears cargo shorts
6. Momentary Relief
I can do this thing! I am woman! I have much clothing! It is all perfectly organized (Lies. All lies). I DO need 16 shirts for a 3-day trip. I JUST DO.
7. Complete Panic
None of this will work. I will look like a schlub or a lunatic. No one will talk to me and everyone will snicker.
8. Random Motion
Jam many things in the suitcase to assuage rising panic. An orange scarf that I have never worn before. Nylons not seen since a wedding in the 90s. Warm gloves. Flip flops. Jaunty hats.
9. Sudden Leave-taking
Realize I am out of time and must GO GO GO because I am already an hour later than I had planned. Pray that the zipper on my suitcase holds. Run out the door, forgetting nothing except my comfy shoes, underwear and all of my charger cables.
I’m going on a trip, y’all!