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The 10 Stages of Packing

September 22, 2011


1. Careful Consideration
Ponder the duration of upcoming trip and all possible activities.
2. Cool Determination
Make a decision to stick to a few classic pieces that can mix and match to make many appropriate outfits
3. Cruel Realization
Notice that my wardrobe contains neither classic pieces nor clothing that is appropriate for many of the things I am about to do
4. Steely Resolve
Make decision to forge ahead and use my cleverness to create a travel wardrobe without buying anything new
5. Immediate Capitulation and Utter Delusion
Desperate run to the outlet mall to make ill-thought, high-speed selections, only a few of which will actually fit or ever be worn. Convince myself that I am the type of person who wears cargo shorts
6. Momentary Relief
I can do this thing! I am woman! I have much clothing! It is all perfectly organized (Lies. All lies). I DO need 16 shirts for a 3-day trip. I JUST DO.
7. Complete Panic
None of this will work. I will look like a schlub or a lunatic. No one will talk to me and everyone will snicker.
8. Random Motion
Jam many things in the suitcase to assuage rising panic. An orange scarf that I have never worn before. Nylons not seen since a wedding in the 90s. Warm gloves. Flip flops. Jaunty hats.
9. Sudden Leave-taking
Realize I am out of time and must GO GO GO because I am already an hour later than I had planned. Pray that the zipper on my suitcase holds. Run out the door, forgetting nothing except my comfy shoes, underwear and all of my charger cables.
10. Euphoria
I’m going on a trip, y’all!

  1. Elvie permalink
    September 22, 2011 09:37

    Where? Fun or work?

    • September 23, 2011 09:35

      Fun. Just 3 days up the coast to SLO and Santa Cruz.

      • Elvie permalink
        September 23, 2011 13:20

        Get some salt water taffy at the boardwalk. Don’t forget to ride the roller coaster. My favorite. Most of all have fun, relax and enjoy.

  2. September 22, 2011 11:43

    It’s kind of like you are in my head. And yes, 16 shirts for 3 days is completely reasonable. As is 5 pairs of shoes – just in case.

    • September 23, 2011 09:35

      Well, you’ve got to have a dressy pair of shoes, a comfy pair, flip-flops, slippers, athletic shoes, and those cute ones you always mean to wear but don’t, then when you wear them you remember why – because they give you giant blisters. On vacation. Ask me how I know.

  3. September 22, 2011 12:47

    Dude, this is my week! I am going to Canada for a wedding where I will be speaking and singing. When I got to step 5 I spent $90 on a pair of rain boots which relate in no way to the trip at all. I have been doing Step 8 since Monday night when I got the suitcase out and started occasionally tossing something in there for safekeeping. So far it has a pair of yoga pants, the dress I’m wearing to the wedding, some nylons and my sheet music. Oh and a marrow bone and a rubber ball but I didn’t put those there.

    • September 23, 2011 09:19

      I think you should wear the rain boots to the wedding.

  4. September 22, 2011 13:12

    And now I understand. All these years I’ve been channeling YOU when I pack.

  5. September 22, 2011 13:57

    Kizz’s comment is hilarious. Ed is packing too Kizz. Duh.

    You need 16 shirts for 3 days because, hello, layering. Also, if you’re anything like me, spills. Spills, spills, spills. Those require a change of shirt.

    Have fun on the trip!

    • September 23, 2011 09:18

      Your shirt advice is right on. The spills!

  6. September 25, 2011 15:57

    Don’t forget to “At your destination find a store and buy the things you forgot!”

  7. stacy permalink
    October 16, 2011 21:18

    Nice rug.

    • October 17, 2011 09:39

      It was in a luxury apartment where I was staying.

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