Take a Number
I have Siri on my iPhone, of course – it’s a built-in feature. The theory is that you can talk to the helpful virtual assistant instead of spending your time typing and correcting on a tiny miniature keyboard that you can’t see with your glasses on if you are over 40 years old.
The operant word in that last paragraph, of course, is “theory.”
The other day, I tried to record a dental appointment in my calendar.
Suebob (presses button): Appointment
Siri: I show thirteen appointments in your calendar.
Suebob: New appointment.
Siri: Did you mean “nude appointment”?
Suebob: Oh, hell no.
Siri: I’m sorry, I did not understand what you meant by “Oh hell no.”
Suebob: MAKE appointMENT.
Siri: I found the following listings for “meant” on the web.
Siri: Here is your calendar for today.
Suebob: Make appointment.
Siri: I’d be happy to put an appointment on your calendar.
Suebob: THANK YOU
Siri: On what date should I put your appointment for Thank You?
Suebob: [Begins squinting and typing on tiny screen]