Conversations with Mom #281: Voice Mail

I’m shopping at Target when I hear my phone go off in my purse.

Putting down my package of lightbulbs and my AA batteries and my furry slippers, I root around, but don’t get to it before it stops ringing. It says it was mom.

I call her back.

Busy.

Call back again.

Busy.

Wait a minute, call back again.

Busy.

“SHUT UP MOM!” I say, holding my phone and staring at the screen, willing her to cut her voicemail short, even though I know that will never happen.

The Target employee gives me the side-eye, obviously thinking I’m some kind of monster to talk to my mom that way.

Finally I get through.

Suebob: Hi, Mom.

Mom: Susie? Is that you? I just called you!

Suebob: I know, Mom. That’s what my phone told me.

Mom: Did you listen to your recording?

Suebob: No, I didn’t listen to the voicemail.

Mom: Oh, I left you a message.

Suebob: I know that, but I called you back instead.

Mom: You should listen to the message.

Suebob: You could tell me what you said on the message.

Mom: You should have listened to it, then called me back.

Suebob: Well, here I am.

Mom: I don’t know why I leave messages.

Suebob: In case I can’t get to the phone right away?

Mom: Well, you should listen to it.

Suebob: Why, did you sing or something?

Mom: Haha, oh, no, but I told you something.

Suebob: You could tell me that same thing right now.

Mom: Well, I already left it on the recording.

Suebob: JUST TELL ME ALREADY.

Mom: You don’t have to yell!

PS Yes, I am doing it. A post a day for a month. Maybe.