I was reading some articles on the psychology of mass murderers, trying to get my brain around the recent “random” shootings which seem to be happening more and more frequently.
This jumped out at me from an interview of Dr. Park Dietz:
The biggest issue to overcome is the reluctance that so many people have to make judgments about the behavior of other people. We have been teaching our young people for decades now and hence we have a generation of adults who have the mistaken notion that you shouldn’t judge other people. In their effort to accept people as they are, they often overlook behaviors that amount to bullying, harassment, discrimination, intimidation, or psychotic behaviors. Any of which when not dealt with properly can lead to violence, but all of which when handled properly can be managed. This idea of not judging and tolerating are one of several factors that lead people to ignore inappropriate behaviors in the workplace.
“Don’t judge,” we say. “You can’t judge me for my beliefs.”
I guess the time has come to ask “Why not?”
If your beliefs are turning you into a murderous psychopath, a rage-filled abuser, or even just an unpleasant little bitch, shouldn’t someone call you on them?
I don’t mean get all up in someone’s face and yell, but what about a gentle approach, like Glennon at Momastery did? She got her point across by telling her truth without creating more animosity.
I know that isn’t always possible. I know some people are so deep into their story that they can’t find the string to follow the path back out no matter what you say or do.
Loving each other is hard, especially now, when everyone seems so quick to take offense. But learning to judge, to discern better ideas from less good ones, and then being able to discuss those things with one another in a productive, adult way is a crucial skill to learn, lest we all end up killing one another.