Thank God I’m home

So tired. Is there any rule against phoning it in? No? Ok, this is me phoning it in.

I stayed at the Grand Hyatt in Washington DC. I’m pretty chill, but they managed to piss me off. Let us count the ways:

1. Having a broken…what do you call those circular door things you have where it snows? Oh, revolving door. Having a broken revolving door AND having three staff people just stand there while I tried to get me and all my luggage through the two heavy glass doors. They just WATCHED me struggle. Thanks, gentlemen.
2. Not having any signage to the well-disguised check-in desk at a lobby the size of a NFL football stadium.
3. Checking me out on the first day of a three day stay. And on the second. But ironically, not on the third.
4. Not cleaning my room until I discovered it unserviced at 6 pm.
5. Offering to email my bill to me, twice, and failing to do so either time, despite the clerk saying she was going to “stay late to do every one of these individually if I have to” (their system was down, so they could not provide bills at checkout. Mmm hmm).

OTHER THAN THAT, it was mostly fine. Nice place. Close to the Metro. But for the price, check out the Kimpton Hotel Madera or Hotel George down the way. They have free happy hour AND giraffe robes, and their system has never been down, as far as I know.

Update: it only took me 10 minutes of hold time and 2 email addresses to get my folio emailed to me, because their website was experiencing an “unexpected error.” The person on the phone asked me how my stay was and listened, but didn’t really sympathize after I told my story. She did, however, kindly offer to remove the charge for the bottled water that I had not actually consumed from my bill.

At the end of the call, she did say “About all that stuff…I’m not sure what happened.” Thank you for your sympathy. Do not leave the light on for me.