Knock Knock…

I went to the doctor today. Nothing remarkable in that. I told CC the other day that my aging body is like driving a crappy old car. A few years back all I had to do was provide fuel and tires, and the occasional tune-up. Now the thing is in the shop all the time, and it is costing me money.

I had to wait almost an hour to see the doc, but I didn’t care. I had my phone and Jenny Lawson’s book, so I had to stifle hysterical laughter over and over, lest they think I needed mood stabilizers.

When she saw me, she looked at my lab results and said “Well, you look good on paper.”

That’s my new slogan.

Afterward, I stopped at the desk to get orders for Xrays (ankle) and a prescription (hormones). There was some confusion and I got the Xray orders, but not the prescription, a fact I realized when I was 10 steps out the door, blinking at the darkness – I had been in there so long the sun had set.

I walked back and the door was locked. They must have locked it right behind me,

Knock, knock, I went softly, knowing they were right on the other side of the door and they could quickly open.

Nothing.

Knock knock, I went louder.

Nothing.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Silence.

Suddenly, I became utterly and completely focused on the single task of getting them to open the damn door. They could NOT do this to me. They could not make me wait one hour to see the doctor, then refuse to give me my damned prescription 10 seconds after I left.

I tried calling. No answer. Called again. No answer.

BANG BANG BANG BANG on the door in a big scary noise.

And yet…nothing.

It was like I was the field goal kicker at the end of a tied championship game. Every fiber of my being was on task. I was ready to stalk them out into the parking lot.

I suddenly realized the back office door was right there. And there was a buzzer. I stepped over, raised my hand and…the door jerked open.

The office manager, looking sheepish, began blathering about “Being in the back.”

It was a good thing I went back, because they had electronically transmitted my Rx to a pharmacy that I hadn’t used in years, so I might never have found it.

But let this be a warning. Do not mess with a woman who wants her hormone medications.