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Bits

November 27, 2017

It was Lucky Laundry Night and I got thirsty at the laundromat, so I went to the liquor store to get some water. Every liquor store around here, it seems, is owned and operated by Syrians.

I took the bottle up to the counter to pay.

“Do you have bits?” the clerk asked.

Bits? I looked down at the two dollar bills in my hand, confused. Was he doing that old-timey thing of calling quarters “Two bits”? That’s usually something only men over the age of 80 do.

“Doog? Kits?”

He looked at me appraisingly. “I bet you have doog.”

All of a sudden, it came to me. I looked down at my sweater, which was made of some weird toothy synthetic material. I had washed the dog’s blankets and had hugged them to me on the way to the laundromat.

I was covered in fur.

“Yes, I have pets! Well, one pet. A dog.”

“I knew it,” he said. “Bits.”

4 Comments
  1. November 28, 2017 07:14

    Bits!

  2. November 28, 2017 10:40

    Indeed!

  3. December 7, 2017 07:08

    I’m calling mine The Bits from now on.

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